


Tattoos and Holovids

by rebel_wren



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ezra Bridger mentioned, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Holovid (Star Wars), Jacen Syndulla alluded to, Kanan Jarrus mentioned - Freeform, One-Shot, Past Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla - Freeform, Pregnancy, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-16 10:18:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18689503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebel_wren/pseuds/rebel_wren
Summary: Hera wants to get a tattoo to remember Kanan by.





	Tattoos and Holovids

**Author's Note:**

> Happy May the Fourth! (Unless you're reading this after May the Fourth, of course).
> 
> This was originally just supposed to be one of my usual super-short ficlets, but it kinda spiraled out of control. Sorry!

Hera’s finger wavered just over the button to open the door, and the hand in her pocket fidgeted with the small, round holoprojector disk. She didn’t want to back out of this, but she was having difficulty building up the courage to move forward with it.

She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

_It’s not like he would care if you didn’t go through with it,_ she thought to herself. _It wouldn’t mean you love him less._

A second train of thought ran through her mind.

_You’ve done this before. What’s stopping you this time?_

_Are you afraid it won’t do what you want it to do?_

Hera pressed the button, and the door to the lounge opened.

She could hear the buzz of a tattoo gun from the back of the room, where a tan-skinned Nikto was giving an human man a tattoo on his lower right leg, which appeared to be one of the only spots left on his body. The two remaining artists, a human and a Theelin woman, were both sitting in old chairs covered in tattered cloth They both looked towards Hera, and immediately stood up when she came in. The Nikto in the back wasn’t paying her any mind, but the man he was tattooing looked at her nervously, though not daring to move.

“Ge- General Syndulla,” the human stammered, their eyes wide. “We, uh, weren’t expecting you.”

Hera waved a hand. “At ease, both of you.”

The pair both let their shoulders relax a bit, but Hera could tell they were both still a bit on edge. Even after all this time, she still was getting used to getting that sort of reaction out of people.

“What brings you here today, General?” The Theelin said.

The hand in Hera’s pocket still fidgeted with the portable holoprojector. It wasn’t like it was her first time getting a tattoo- she’d had her eyebrows tattooed when she was only 15 (which was painful) and her lekku tattooed when she was 17 (which was agony)- but somehow she was still just as nervous.

“I understand that you’re tattoo artists?”

The two both exchanged a quick look. “Yes, we are,” responded the Theelin. “I’m Naija, and this is Lane. Are you… looking to get one?”

Hera nodded. “On my wrist,” she said. She finally pulled the holoprojector from her pocket. “I want a drawing of this.”

She clicked a button on the side of the disk, which cast a slight blue glow on the two artists in front of her. It was a cropped image of Kanan’s lightsaber. The full holograph was one Sabine had taken years ago, of Kanan and Ezra after one of their first sparring sessions. They were both relaxing while their lightsabers sat together on a side table next to them.

Naija stepped closer, and examined the picture closely. Now that the focus was on her art, she seemed much more confident.

_Not unlike Sabine_ , Hera thought.

“So, you want the design of the lightsaber?”

“Yes.”

“With the blade, or just the hilt?”

“Just the hilt is fine. And I want it small and simple.”

Naija nodded, and picked up a sketchbook off a nearby table, as well as a stylus. She immediately started drawing, looking up at the holograph occasionally as she drew. The only sound in the room was the quiet hum of the holoprojector, which could barely be heard over the buzz of the tattoo gun still running. After a few minutes, she turned the sketchbook around, and Hera looked at the page.

It was a minimalistic and flat recreation of Kanan’s lightsaber design.

Exactly as she’d pictured it.

Hera smiled. “It’s perfect.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Naija grinned proudly. “I’ll go get a needle ready, take that seat over there.”

Hera looked to a seat by the man getting his own tattoo, which looked to be almost finished.

“Thank you,” Hera said. She took the seat, and removed the glove off her right hand. She shoved it into her pocket and rolled up her sleeve. The human man was still staring at her, and Hera smiled and waved.

“Hello?”

The man blinked and looked down. “Sorry, General.”

Hera shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. It’s nice to meet you… uh...”

“Rodric.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Rodric.”

The man nodded, and looked down at the Nikto finishing up the last details of his tattoo. Hera looked at it too- it was a trio of X-Wings flying upwards. The Nikto finished on the wing of the left-sided one, and then pulled the needle up and examined his handiwork. He smiled, with a proud twinkle in his eye, and then looked up to the man for approval, but he did a double take when he saw Hera. His eyes widened, and Hera swallowed.

“Hi,” she said. “Uh, that looks beautiful. Great job.”

The Nikto looked to Rodric, who signed something with his hands. The Nikto nodded, the spark in his eye returning. He set down his tattoo gun and quickly signed something back, and the human nodded and turned to Hera. “Tonn says thank you.”

Tonn tapped Rodric’s knee to get his attention, and signed something else to him. Rodric nodded. “He also says he heard about what happened to your Jedi, and he’s really sorry.”

Hera smiled sadly and nodded. She was more than used to those words by now.

“Thank you.”

Rodric signed it to Tonn, who nodded and picked up his tattoo gun and took it to the back room, presumably to clean it. Hera looked over all of Rodric tattoos.

“Your tattoos look great.”

Rodric nodded. “Thanks. Tonn’s been doing mine for years now.”

“He does a great job.”

Rodric nodded. “Yeah, he does.”

Naija came back, and sat down next to Hera, preparing her needle. She set it down and then took a small cloth and poured some of the contents of a white bottle onto it, and started to clean Hera’s arm.

“Good thing about tattooing Twi’leks,” she said. “Is that you don’t have to worry about shaving them first.”

Hera laughed and let Naija rub at her arm some more before setting the cloth down. Naija took a transfer sheet with her design on it, and held it over Hera’s wrist. It was parallel to her hand, just across her wrist.

“Is here good?”

Hera considered it for a moment. “Yeah, that’s good.”

Naija nodded and pressed the paper down onto her wrist, and held it down. Rodric still hadn’t left, even though his tattoo was done, and was watching Hera get hers. After a few moments, Naija pulled the paper away, and a bluish outline of the tattoo was stained on Hera’s green skin.

“Good?”

Hera nodded, and Naija squeezed some ointment out of the bottle, and rubbed a little of it over the transfer. She lifted her tattoo needle and turned it on, and it started to buzz.

“You ready, General?”

Hera nodded again, and Naija slowly started on the tattoo. When the needle touched her skin, Hera bit her bottom lip. It certainly wasn’t nearly as painful as the tattoos on her face or lekku, but it was still a very unpleasant sting.

Naija was completely focused on her work as she outlined the design. Hera looked up, trying to look for other things to focus on. The walls were covered in art- some of them tattoos Hera had actually seen on people around base, some of them things she could never imagine wanting permanently on her body.

Tonn came back and applied an ointment over Rodric’s leg. He signed something to Rodric, and although Hera didn’t know what it meant, Rodric seemed offended by it. He quickly signed something back, and Tonn replied with his hands.

Hera saw Tonn taping the bandages over Rodric’s leg. Tonn huffed, and Rodric shook his head.

“Fine. General Syndulla, Tonn wants to know if the rumor going around is true.”

“Rodric!” Naija hissed, pulling the needle away and looking up at him. “You can’t just ask her that!”

“I’m not asking, Tonn is.”

Hera raised her eyebrows, and looked at all three of them. “What rumor?”

Naija shook her head and returned to her work, and Rodric pursed his lips.

“There’s a rumor going around that you’re… that you’re, uh…”

Hera tilted her head. She could already see where it was going, and she resisted the instinct put her left hand over her abdomen. It wasn’t really visible under her flight suit, but she was just starting to show her pregnancy a little bit.

“That I’m what?” Hera asked. She didn’t even bother to hide her amused smile.

“That you’re… pregnant.”

His voice was a lot softer and more nervous, and Hera laughed quietly.

“Where did you hear that?”

Rodric chewed the bottom of his lip nervously, and Naija shook her head and huffed as she continued to work the tattoo.

“Well, my friend Jarek told me, and he heard it from his friend, who said she heard it from her friend that works in the medbay, who said-”

Hera put up her left hand. “Alright, I get it.”

Naija snorted, and Rodric looked down, embarrassed. “So it’s not true, then?”

“Oh,” Hera said, smirking. “It’s true.”

“Oh,” Rodric said, “I… um… really?”

Hera nodded, and looked to Naija, who had lifted up the tattoo gun and was staring at her.

“Um… congratulations, General.”

Hera smiled. “Thank you.”

Naija got back to work quickly, and Hera saw Rodric sign something to Tonn out of the corner of her eye. Tonn gave a smug, wide smile and signed something back to Rodric, who sighed.

“Tonn says congratulations. And congratulations from me too.”

Hera smiled at them both, and then felt Naija lift the needle from her wrist for the last time. She looked over her work, and then smiled.

“I think I’m done, General. What do you think?”

Hera looked down at the tattoo. Her skin had a little more of an orange-ish tint around the tattoo, but the black lines of the tattoo were exactly what Hera was picturing. Hera felt a warmth, and she smiled at Naija.

“It’s perfect. Thank you so much.”

Naija rubbed the same ointment over the sensitive skin that Tonn had applied on Rodric, and then bandaged Hera’s wrist.

“You’ll want to keep this on for at least two hours, maybe more, or else you could get an infection. After you take it off, wash it gently, the best you can but you can’t be rough. Pat it dry, and then you can put… do you have bacta on your ship?”

“Yes,” Hera replied.

“Bacta should work then, but don’t use too much. Lane will give you a guide on taking care of your tattoo on your way out.”

Hera nodded as Naija finished securing the bandage. “Thank you so much, Naija, it’s beautiful. How much do I owe you?”

Naija waved a hand. “You don’t have to pay, General.”

“No, I do. How much?”

Naija shook her head. “You don’t have to pay.”

Hera sighed, and stood up, rolling her sleeve down and pulling her glove out of her pocket to slide it back over her hand. “Alright, then, let me go get this guide. Hera walked from the back of the room to the front, where Lane greeted her with a small packet.

“Thank you, General. This, uh, this should tell you everything you need to know.”

Hera gave her a slight nod of the head. “Thank you, Lane.”

She then pulled a pouch out of her pocket, and quickly counted her chips. She took 100 credits worth, and dropped it onto the counter against the wall, and started to leave.

“Hey!” Hera heard Naija’s voice call as she was almost out the door. “I said you don’t have to pay!”

“Consider it a donation!” Hera called back. “Nice meeting you all!”

She let the door shut behind her.

* * *

 

Hera opened the door to the common room of the _Ghost_ , greeted by the sight of Sabine and Zeb both sitting together, sharing a datapad. They looked up at Hera when she came in with genuine smiles, which Hera had missed seeing for so long since Lothal.

“Where’ve you been all day? I thought Senator Organa told you to take the day off.” Sabine asked.

“I was just… taking a walk,” Hera said. “What are we looking at?”

Zeb motioned for her to sit with them, and Hera slid into the booth. They were swiping through images of Sabine’s art on different places.

“My dad said I should put together a portfolio to send him,” Sabine said. “And Zeb wanted to see it.”

Hera watched the screen as Zeb swiped his finger across it rhythmically. Some of them were pieces Hera hadn’t seen before, from Sabine’s room, random spots on base or even older pieces from Lothal. Some of them were ones she saw everyday, like the large phoenix symbol on one of the _Ghost_ ’s walls. Zeb swiped again, and there was the picture of Ezra’s bunk falling onto Zeb from Zeb’s room. Hera smiled and rubbed Zeb’s shoulder gently as he broke his swiping rhythm looking at it.

Hera still remembered the day Sabine had painted it as clearly as any other. The meiloorun Ezra and Zeb had got for her was honestly one of the better ones she’d ever had. Zeb put his finger back on the screen and starting swiping again, passing paintings and drawings of the crew, friends, different animals, and symbols. He finally got to the end of all the pictures Hera reached for the datapad.

“Can I see this? I wanna see the ones in the beginning.”

“Sure.”

Zeb handed the dapatad to her. She tried to swipe forward on it, but it wouldn’t go.

“It’s an older model I got from Rex,” Sabine explained. “You need to take your glove off.”

Hera nodded, and without realizing pulled the right glove off of her hand, and she earned quick gasps from Sabine and Zeb.

“What happened to your arm?” Zeb said, alarmed.

Hera bit the inside of her cheek to keep back her amused smile. “Well-”

“Did you get it checked at the medbay?” Zeb interjected. “Is the baby okay?”

Hera laughed and put her hand up to stop him. “Zeb, it’s on my arm. Where do you think the baby is?”

Sabine snorted a bit, but she still looked concerned. “What happened, Hera?”

“I… stopped by the tattoo place.”

Sabine’s face lit up. “Let us see!”

Hera shook her head. “I can’t, I have to keep it covered for at least another hour and a half.”

“What did you get?”

“You’ll have to wait and see.”

Sabine frowned, disappointed, and Hera ruffled her hair.

“When I can uncover it, you’ll be the very first one show.”

Zeb cleared his throat loudly.

“You too, Zeb,” Hera said with a shake of her head. She lifted the datapad up and started at the beginning of Sabine’s portfolio, and started swiping through the images. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Zeb go up.

“I’m gonna go check on Chopper,” he said, as Hera continued to look at the drawings and paintings. All of them were beautiful, as Sabine’s art always was, but she felt a particular wave of emotion whenever she saw a painting of Kanan or Ezra.

Hera stopped at the small, grinning Kanan that was on her A-Wing, flexing over the words “moonbeam.” Hera smiled sadly down at the painting. It was small and in Sabine’s cute, cartoonish style, but it still captured Kanan’s spirit perfectly.

Hera looked at the tiny Kanan’s goatee and scarless face.

_It feels like yesterday, but that was so long ago._

Hera swallowed the lump in her throat and swiped through the next couple pictures, mostly sketches. Some of Ketsu, some of Rex, and some of ships. When she finally got to the point that she’d started at when she first got home, she handed the datapad to Sabine and put her glove back on.

“They’re all wonderful, Sabine. I’m sure your dad will be proud of you.”

Sabine nodded. “Thanks, Hera.”

“And I’m proud of you too.”

Hera wasn’t just talking about the art, and the look on Sabine’s face told her that she got that. It lingered in the air for a moment, silently, and Sabine set the datapad down.

She didn’t even have time to process it when Sabine collided with her for a hug. Hera hugged Sabine back tightly, and let her bury her face into her shoulder.

Sabine pulled away a few moments later, and Hera let her go. The hug was short, but sorely needed. Hera smiled at Sabine.

“I’ll be in my room if you need me. I’ll take my bandage off after dinner.”

Sabine nodded, and Hera walked back to her room. She didn’t have anywhere else to go that day, so changed out of her flightsuit into her sleep-clothes. They were much thinner and more comfortable (not that her flightsuit was all that uncomfortable to begin with). Hera put her hand over her belly. You could see the slight bump there much more than you could in her flightsuit.

Hera took her own datapad out of a drawer and turned it on, and flipped to a book she’d been meaning to get back into for over a year. Hera laid back in her bunk and started reading, feeling her shoulders relax.

* * *

 

Hera was shaken out of her reading when she heard a small, metallic rapping on her door.

“Come in, Chopper.”

Her door slid open, and Chopper rolled through the door up to her bed, warbling. She set her datapad next to her pillow, and rubbed the top of Chopper’s dome.

“Zeb made dinner?”

Chopper gave an affirmative sound, and then reached a tiny, mechanical arm and took her hand. He brought it down so the bandage around her wrist was in front of one of his optical sensors. He let out a disapproving grumble, and Hera squeezed the tiny, claw-like hand at the end of his arm.

“Sorry I didn’t bring you this time.”

Chopper had been the only one to accompany her when she got both her eyebrow tattoos and her lekku tattoos, and she felt a little bad about not including him in this one. Hera pulled her hand away from his and sat up in bed. She rested a hand over her stomach, and Chopper chirped happily.

“I know, Chop,” Hera said with a smile on her face. “I’m eating for two, so I’ve gotta go get this dinner Zeb made.”

She stood up slowly, and went to the kitchen with Chopper following her. Hera could almost instantly smell his cooking, and her stomach rumbled. When she got to the kitchen, she sat down at the table next to Sabine, who’s face lit up when she saw her.

“Hera, your stomach-”

Zeb cut her off. “It’s not polite to comment on people’s weight, Sabine.”

Sabine shot him a glare, and scooted a hint closer to Hera. “Can you show us the tattoo now?”

“I told you, after dinner.”

Zeb sat a plate in front of each of them. “Can you at least tell us what it is?”

Hera shook her head. She almost immediately dived into her plate. Zeb laughed as he took his seat across from Hera and Sabine.

“Someone’s hungry.”

Hera could only nod with her mouth full, and Zeb and Sabine both chuckled as they dug in themselves. While Hera was by far the hungriest, the entire trio was hungry enough that dinner was wholly silent while they ate. Hera finished first, with Zeb only a few moments behind. As soon as he set his fork down, he looked at Hera expectantly.

“Can we see it now?”

“Mmmmph!” Sabine mumbled through a mouthful. Sabine wolfed down the last of her meal, took a moment to swallow, and then sat her head on her hands.

“Okay, now show us.”

Hera looked between the two of them. “I’m supposed to put some bacta on it right after I take the bandage off, so-”

“On it!” Sabine said, rushing away to get their medkit. “Don’t show it without me!”

Hera and Zeb both laughed, and then Zeb leaned across the table.

“Just show me real quick.”

“Sabine said to wait,” Hera pointed out.

“I know, but I said-”

“Garazeb Orr-.”

Zeb huffed loudly and slumped back against his seat. “Fine.”

Sabine came back just a few moments later with some bacta, and she practically leapt back into her seat. Hera raised her eyebrows, smiling at both of them.

“Are you _really_ sure you want to see it?”

“Yes!” They both said in unison.

Hera laughed and reached for her bandage. She unwrapped it purposefully slowly, enjoying the anticipation on Zeb and Sabine’s faces. She got to the last wrapping and kept it held over her wrist.

“Are you _really_ , _really_ sure?”

“ _Yes_!”

Hera laughed and pulled the bandage off, and extended her arm to them. They both leaned over to look at it, and the sad smiles that instantly overtook their faces told Hera that they both recognized the design immediately. She let them examine it for a few moments in silence, but then she cleared her throat.

“The bacta,” she reminded Sabine softly.

“Right, right,” Sabine said. She opened one of the small bacta packets from their medkit and squeezed it across Hera’s wrist, gently rubbing over it with some gauze. When she pulled away, the skin had a shine to it. Zeb’s eyes turned upwards towards Hera. She offered him a warm smile.

“You like it?”

Hera saw him nod before she heard the ever-so familiar rolling of Chopper across the floor. She turned her head, and followed his movement up to the table, warbling.

“You can see it now, Chop,” Hera said. She let her wrist fall down towards Chopper, who wheeled himself just a smidge closer to get a better look. He let out a sad, low whistle.

“But you still like it, right?”

One of Chopper’s little arms extended from his dome in an affirmative salute, and Hera smiled. She pulled her wrist up, and held it in her own hand, looking over the tattoo. She gently brushed her thumb over it, picking up just a trace of the bacta. The smile on her lips was small and sad, but still there nonetheless.

“I think Kanan would’ve liked it,” Sabine offered. Hera could only nod, with threatening tears that were stinging her eyes.

She loved the tattoo itself- it was beautiful, and exactly what she wanted- but to be truthful, she was disappointed. A part of her thought that getting it would help her really accept what happened.

Would help her feel closer to him.

She felt Zeb nudge her shoulder.

“Hey,” he said. “You alright?”

Hera nodded again, and looked up at him. He smiled at her.

“I picked up a holovid today. S’posed to be pretty good, if you wanna try it.”

“I’d love to,” Hera said. Zeb got up from the table.

“I’ll go set up the holoprojector,” he said. He patted Hera’s shoulder on the way out, and Hera smiled. Sabine got out of her seat and offered a helping hand to Hera, who shook her head but still took it.

“I’m not _that_ pregnant yet, Sabine.”

“I’m just practicing,”

Hera laughed, and Sabine followed her to the common room. Zeb already had the holoprojector on, and the holovid was paused on the opening credits. Hera and Sabine both slid into the seat on either side of Zeb, and he put an arm around each of them. Hera rested her head against his shoulder, letting out a deep, stabilizing sigh. Zeb reached out to the projector with his foot to hit play, and the opening music played.

As they watched the holovid, Hera realized how safe she felt tucked under Zeb’s arm, and how comforted she was knowing Sabine was right with them. She smiled to herself and took a glance down at her wrist.

She was glad she got the tattoo, but she realized that she didn’t really need it to feel like Kanan was with her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! <3 I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
